Back to MPD home page 
TopDOES EVERYONE GO TO THE SAME PLACE?
For at least some with MPD, this is a troubling and puzzling question that brings up a lot of other questions as well.
What does it mean to be a human being? What happens to a person after death?
There are three main approaches. Some believe that each of us goes through multiple lives, not necessarily as humans. How well I do in this life determines whether my next one will be an improvement. The next time around I might be a bug, then a frog, etc. Eventually I may get to be a human again. Eventually I might get it right and my reward would be not to have to go through any more lives.
Some believe that each human spirit continues after life while the body drops away. That spirit then get a new human body and starts a new life. In this life, some would claim that I might have a partial awareness of having lived before. That viewpoint has gotten a lot of press lately with the idea of "past lives therapy" using hypnosis to resolve present problems in life.
A third view is that human life is "one to a customer." That is the most familiar view. Some consider the body to be largely a "container" for the spirit. When death comes the body is left behind and the spirit, the true "person" moves on to whatever comes next. Some do not separate the body and spirit. The two together are considered the human being. The idea of separation would be a nightmare. The spirit alone would be viewed as a misty, "half person" with a ghostly, insubstantial existence.
Then there are those who are unsure that there is any continuation of personal existence after death.
What about MPD then?
If you see life as "one to a customer" and see the options after death as being either Heaven or Hell, there are a limited number of logical possibilities.
Either the separation that has been lived and experienced during life is continued, or it is not. Either God sees the separate personalities as they see themselves, or he sees also the connections between them that may be so hard for each personality to see.
The best definition of Heaven I’ve seen is that it is a return to complete relationship with God. Heaven can be described as an experience where there is no more pain or sorrow. Tears, fear, grief, alienation, misery are ended. If those are the very dynamics that maintain the separation between personalities, an end to them would seem to also lead to full reconciliation, healing, and reuniting. To the extent that such may be true, is it then even possible for different personalities in fact to end up going to different places?
The idea of Hell has been described as a state of alienation from God, from others, and from self. If that is the case, would that argue for a continued, or even heightened, existence of separation?
If all will share in the same outcome, how is that to be determined? It is somewhat simplified, but here are some of the possibilities.
Different religious groups would tend to support one of these positions based on how they would view things in the absence of MPD. One group may see humans as essentially corrupt, destined to be condemned unless there is explicit acceptance of Christ. Others may see the issue of clear decision as most important—any explicit commitment by any personality, for good or for evil, as being determinative for all personalities. Another may see the issue as determined by the attitude present at the time of death, or the last conscious period before death. Some groups may consider a particular act, regardless of how it may come about, as permanently changing the person’s standing before God. Nothing and no one, no further action of any kind, can then change the person’s state. For many groups, then, the issue of MPD would be considered within the broader stance taken.
Just to complicate things a bit further, there are some religious groups, again because of more general or broader positions, who directly state or at least presume that the different personalities in MPD are "demonic." For those groups, I think they would presume that the "demonic" personalities would go back where they started and the "real" or "true" personality would then be judged and go to Heaven or Hell.
I’m sure that in different ways, at different times, you’ve run into at least some of these various attitudes.
Having said the above, how might someone with MPD go about sorting out things for themselves? I think that there are a number of things to think about.
First, for many with MPD, there is a sense that at least some other personalities inside are "different" or somehow "alien" from themselves. There can be a lot of different reasons for that, and the sense that is there might be different for different personalities, as well. Sometimes it seems to occur because the personality felt to be "alien" has gotten dumped with very strong emotions that others find scary. Sometimes that personality may have had to pretend to be something unusual as part of the struggle for survival. Sometimes it may be that the personality was so wounded or damaged that he or she simply lost track themselves of who they are—it may be that other personalities are reacting to that confusion.
No matter how it came about, other personalities may be regarded as "alien." It may be hard to conceive of them going to the same place. It may feel as if all must go where that "alien" personality would most seem to fit. Thinking about the idea at all may be very frightening and confusing. Things may have gotten even murkier if those outside, at least at times, have said or suggested that some personalities within are in fact "not of you."
It not only makes sense in terms of the therapy process but also in dealing with the religious issues to directly admit that those inside, in fact "are of you." That doesn’t mean that all inside get along right now, or understand one another, or even know each other very well. The stance or attitude of not "labeling" others inside as foreign would seem to me to be very important.
The second consideration would seem to be that if God is the one deciding what occurs about Heaven and Hell, our understandings and misunderstandings are not going to matter much. God would know all of the trauma that was suffered. He would understand how and why each personality came to be separate from the others. He would understand what was involved in each one’s struggle both to survive and to understand the world around them. He would know of each heartbreak and each time of joy. God would not be blinded by human oversimplification, denial of the reality of child abuse, or minimizing of the trauma. He would truly understand what had gone on.
Perhaps in light of that a better question might be: "What would it take for God to decide that someone truly should go to Hell?"
Those who have been abused have often come to expect that breaking any "rule" may result in total disaster. I think that they have come to expect that there is no consistency in life, that things really aren’t very predictable. They have often come to expect no proportion between an action and consequences from it. All of that comes into play when a church or clergy start to talk about Heaven and Hell.
There’s another problem for those with MPD related to switching.
In giving a sermon it’s easy to presume that those in the congregation are cloaked in heavy duty insulation. It may or may not be true but that’s often a starting point, and some types of churches and some individual clergy get more carried away with it than others. You can presume that people come clothed in denial. They minimize what they do wrong and exaggerate what anyone else does that is wrong. They tend not to take seriously their relationships, their faith, questions of meaning in life. They tend to separate religious issues and identity from the rest of their life. To get your point across you overstate things to get through the insulation and denial. It ends up sounding as if what you are saying in that sermon is all that is important. You leave out other issues that would provide a better balance to what is being said. Sometimes things are said dramatically to make a point. The goal is to encourage people to take things seriously and examine their own lives and faith.
Well, those with MPD tend to take everything personally. I think they take what was already overstated and make it even more definite and rigid. Where there is amnesia between personalities I think the dynamics become even tougher. Sentences and paragraphs are taken out of context. One sermon about taking seriously the Ten Commandments is not connected with another one about how much God loves. There is often already a chronic religious crisis, and further turmoil can result from the way that statements about God are heard.
In light of all that, again recognizing that many would disagree with me, I would like to share my image of what happens at the time of death. For your consideration:
A long time age in the seminary I approached one of my professors, and I asked to present to him my sense of what happens at the time of death. I had thought about it carefully and felt that it was at least reasonable and incorporated the "sense of faith" that I had about the relationship with Christ and with God. I just wanted to talk about it.
I stated my image of what happens at death and the professor then told me somewhat angrily that what I had presented was not only wrong, but was "heretical." He told me that I could end up not being ordained. He never told me what was wrong with my idea. He was way out of line but I didn’t know it at the time. I kept my mouth shut but I continued to think about it.
Finally, a lot of years later, I had as a patient in the hospital a bishop from a diocese far away. He had come to Detroit because of Cancer that had spread, and over time the relationship between us became fairly comfortable. One of his true joys was that when he was at the hospital he could celebrate Mass with people who looked past his Cancer and simply accepted him. In his own diocese he felt that people stared at him, or pitied him, or were just curious about him. Here, people appeared honored to have him present and simply treated him as a person. I remember him crying when he told me that.
Eventually, I asked him to go over with me the "heretical" view that I had of what occurs at the moment of death. I don’t know what he thought I was going to present him with, but he invited me to go ahead. This is what I told him:
"At the instant of death, the person suddenly appears before Christ. There is a space between that the person must walk through, and Christ is simply standing there, with his arms wide open, inviting. All that the person has to do is to walk to him and accept his hug."
"To take that walk and accept that hug the person has to leave behind all unworthy things that bind them to earth. For someone who has lived a life of love and of faith, the response would be instant. Their feet wouldn’t be able to run fast enough as they moved toward Christ with their arms outstretched to receive that embrace—that hug. For someone who has lived a life of greed, of selfishness, of refusal to love, I think that they would stand there, frozen in place, unable to move forward. Their attachment to their fancy boat and car, their addiction to sex or power, their refusal to care about other people—all that would work against them. And yet in order to move forward and receive the hug that they intuitively know is the fulfillment of their humanity, all the unworthy things that have been the center of life must be given up. I think the process would be long, and slow, and painful, and wrenching. I think that Christ would cry with them as he watched their agony. There is no "external time" in Heaven, but I think the process would feel like it was lasting an eternity. It’s sad, but perhaps there could even be someone never able to let go. I think that would be Hell."
"There is a sense that is often expressed when someone goes through a very painful sickness that ends in death. Family and friends often say "He is going through his Purgatory (the time or experience of "purging" or letting go) here on earth." Often with serious sickness people really do start focusing much more on their relationships with others, thinking much more about God and Christ. Suddenly the boat and car really do become less important. The person often does try to get important things "back in balance." Maybe this is more accurate than we usually think."
Well, anyway, I went over this with the bishop. He sat there in silence for a minute. He then told me that in his opinion the theology was sound. He said it made a lot more sense than other descriptions that he’s heard. Maybe it also made more sense because it wasn’t that long before he himself died.
In this way of understanding, not only can I look forward to that hug, I can help myself prepare for it. The preparing can help my life here, on earth, be something that I can be much more proud of. In this way of thinking about things, Hell is not some arbitrary and unfair punishment for breaking some rule but the direct result of consciously and continually choosing a life of alienation. I don’t accept Hell now, and I don’t think I have to fear it later.
What would this mean for MPD? Would it make a difference whether someone was "integrated" or "unintegrated"? I can’t see how. As the hug was accepted, wouldn’t the pain, the scars, the fears, the misery, the isolation—wouldn’t all of that end up being somehow healed in that hug?
I can’t "give" someone else this as an answer. I can ask though, does this make sense? There is a quote from the Bible that means quite a bit to me "God is love, and he who lives in love lives in God, and God lives in him."
© Fr J Mahoney