RELIGIOUS CLICHES

 A cliché is a saying or description that is used so much that it can end up getting in the way of communication. It can even end up meaning the opposite of what it started off meaning. It’s a good idea for all of us to question clichés closely.

I can’t document this, but what follows may be a good example. When someone dies, you often hear people saying "It’s part of God’s plan." It sounds like they’re saying that God had some sort of blueprint upstairs and decided that this particular person should die at that particular time, as part of that overall blueprint.

Some people may really mean that they are seeing some broad logic in the person dying. Usually, what people are really saying is: "I don’t feel very comfortable and don’t know what to say. I don’t like expressing emotions too much in the first place. If I say something that sounds generally religious and nod my head wisely, maybe this crying person will grab someone else and leave me alone. As a side benefit, if I say something religious maybe I’ll sound holy or like a nicer person."

Now, I don’t know for sure, but I think the phrase, used when someone dies, actually does have a lot of meaning, but it doesn’t have the death as a focus. I think that a long time ago, when people were mostly farmers, they lived by the passage of the seasons, the growing and harvesting of crops, and the idea of everything in nature having some connection. I think that what it first meant was: "Death is hard to face when it means saying Goodbye. Let’s remember though that God’s plan for life is that death is always followed by creation and new birth. The cold of winter is always followed by the new growth of spring. Let’s remember the Resurrection, the giving of new life by God." One person is reminding another of the comfort of their belief in the Resurrection.

When there is a cliché or phrase that is used without the fuller understanding that should go with it, it might make little or no sense. There are a lot of clichés around, fogging up the process of people talking to one another. I think it is a lot harder with MPD. Not only was there trauma, and a lot of times rather weird things were said, but having MPD meant that there are many more things without explanations than there would be without MPD. Some personalities may understand some things, and others understand others. Some clichés don’t make sense to anyone.

There can be embarrassment about admitting that something doesn’t make sense when it seems to make sense to those without MPD. It can be awkward asking someone to explain a cliché they are using. You can get more of a negative reaction when you question something that is a religious cliché, and it may be hard to understand the reaction. The truth is that a lot of clichés don’t make sense at all, or only a little, in a general way. Others may be ways of not talking about something serious. Some others may reflect beliefs or understandings that would be rejected even by the person using the cliché.

As a suggestion, perhaps you could jot down clichés and ask whether others inside understand them better. Members may be of help to one another. Religious clichés could be part of our discussion process, or the subject of a seminar.

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